Who doesn’t love a summer fling?

When I first moved to Chicago, I had a true main character moment. One day I was messaged on bumble by a muralist from New York City who was in town for work. They asked me out on the first message and I impulsively agreed.

I didn’t expect much out of the date. I honestly thought they were going to be a little weird, being as bold as they were to ask me out right away. But we hit it off better than I ever expected.

Over the next few months, my attachment grew. They were incredibly interesting, creative, and super fun to talk to. I could feel myself developing feelings for them.

However, they didn’t seem to feel the same way. I know they cared about me and enjoyed my company, but they didn’t seem to have the feelings for me that I had for them. It was all so confusing, the way they made me feel good when I talked to them, but also deeply upset. I had such a sense of longing for them to care about me in the way I wanted.

This painting is an expression of how I felt in that… relationship. More of a situationship honestly. I felt like I learned a lot about myself, and became more in touch with my creative side, represented by the flowers growing out of the woman’s head. However, I also felt like I was being sucked in, so to speak. I felt so consumed by my thoughts of them, and the movement of the background swirling into a single point is indicative of that feeling in the back of my mind.